Monday, September 28, 2009

Non - Painting Chronicles

I shot the chicken but I didn't shoot the deputy. ( Sing to Bob Marley)

That bloody chicken, last night it sounded like it was being attacked by a ferile cat the amount of flapping it was making. Early this morning it was squawking away and generally making a racket. Let me be clear about this, we live in a city, there are no farms nearby that I know of and it would be like a chicken walking around a cul de sac in Ladbroke Grove. Apparently its a bantam chicken and those are expensive said my neighbour. My other neighbours had seen the chicken this morning and contrary to popular belief that it was being attacked it was just happily and casually strolling up the alley, clucking away. Those darn sleep bandits. In the evening as I chatted to the neighbours we spotted the chicken on the fence, slightly obscured by a table. I got the airsoft gun and using my valuable TA experience crouched into position and aimed. I think one of the plastic balls ricocheted and possibly hit the chicken ( I doubt it though) but the noise was enough to startle it, and it flew away. This may seem cruel but I can safely say I don't mean to harm the chicken I just wish it would find somewhere else to live, like the country. I think we are going to have to fork out for a fishing net if we have any hopes of capturing it . It's like the Usain Bolt of chickens. We would of course find it more appropriate accomodation. It's either that or a wanted ad on Craigslist. Chicken: young, agile, social and talkative seeks full time carer. Free, pick up only.

2 Days later Chicken update. So, yesterday in a scene reminiscent of Lord of the Flies the kids on the street decided to chase the chicken. There were about 7 of them. I know I fired at it, but it was indirect only and one of these kids had a blue shovel ! The chicken was flapping about like nobody's business. They weren't hitting it as far as I could see, merely poking bushes, but they were chasing it like a relentless mob and they trapped it in the Apartment complex across the road. Well, we didn't see chicken the next day and feared the worst. Note use of the word fear, due to the nature of it's capture I felt really bad like someone who sees a crime being committed and just closes the curtains. Those kids are out of control. To quote my neighbour " If you want to figure out who the next serial killer will be, look no further." I exaggerate but a shovel ? I'm happy to say Chicken outwitted them all, he was heard happily clucking this morning much to our relief. It is imperative that we capture chicken, he needs to know its us or the kids. We'll find him a nice patch where he can be free of the daily stresses of living on the streets. Still he better steer clear of the Santa Fe.

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